The First Vampire
by Kuran Risa Chan
Summary: How did the first vampire come to exist? Nobody really knows...well almost nobody. An AU look at what happened to Bella when Edward left in NM.
1. Transformation

How did the first vampire come to exist? It's an answer nobody really knows. Surely it couldn't have happened through evolution as vampires remained unchanging but there no longer existed a vampire who could remember a time before vampires existed. Most never dwelled upon this question, humans, for the most part, were completely oblivious to the existence of these mythical creatures and vampires neither cared about how it happened nor could fathom the limitless amount of time that had passed since the first of their beings. So nobody knew the answer, well nobody except me. Believe it or not I am a first generation vampire so to speak. I have no maker, no previous vampire to turn me, no I accomplished that transformation all on my own. They say that the transformation takes three days of burning through the fires of hell; I wish my own transformation could have been that wonderful. Three days of hell is nothing compared to the agony I felt as I underwent my transformation. My transformation began the day Edward left, well not directly but that's where it all started.

* * *

My mind kept turning over this new, shocking, well not so shocking I had seen it coming hadn't I, piece of information. Edward didn't want me anymore. Even as I found it hard to believe my mind was working out the logistics of the situation, it did make sense. Why would such a beautiful, perfect creature like Edward ever love me, a plain, even for a human, boring girl? This thought did nothing to alleviate the pain; it was as though someone had reached into my chest and pulled out my heart while it was still beating leaving me empty. Yes that's how I felt, empty. I paid no attention to my surroundings, they didn't matter now that Edward was gone; nothing mattered now that Edward was gone.

I had acknowledges at some point that I had been moved, whether it was by my own two feet or by someone else I had no idea. Not that it mattered; my body no longer recognized the difference between the hard, cold forest floor and the warm, soft blankets of my bed.

For days, or maybe it was more than that, I tried desperately to convince myself that Edward would return. I knew he wouldn't, but it was the last piece of hope this body of mine could cling to; for without Edward there was no point of continuing my existence.

After more time passed I finally realized that Edward wasn't returning and I felt the thin strings of hope leave my body leaving nothing in their wake. The nothingness was both better and worse than the emptiness, and there was a difference. The emptiness was the place that Edward had vacated and the nothingness was well, nothing. In the nothingness even thoughts of Edward could no longer make me feel pain, I also felt no joy or even worry about what I must be doing to Charlie. I vaguely realized that I should probably be hungry, I could not have eaten for several days but even as I processed this information I could not bring myself to care, to feel anything about it. I must be broken, I had loved Edward with all of my very being and when he left it had broken me so I could never feel again. With this new realization I felt my heart give a few weak splutters and then come to a halt. So this is what it felt like to die, I had expected more than this nothingness, I thought my life would flash before my eyes or I would be visited by some sentient creature but none of that happened and I felt nothing, absolutely nothing.

* * *

The next time I became aware of my surroundings I could tell they were moving my body, so I must have really died then. I started to panic slightly then, would I be stuck with this vague awareness of my surroundings for the rest of eternity? I really hoped not for even in my state of nothingness this managed to evoke a small feeling of fear. I quickly took more notice of my surroundings, I was in the morgue waiting for my funeral arrangements to be made; maybe if I woke up now it wouldn't be too late, maybe I could come back to life.

At that last thought I realized I wasn't ready to die yet and then the pain returned. This pain was not the same as the Edward leaving me pain; no this was a different kind, a physical kind that I had never experienced in all my years of life. I could feel the cold seeping deep into my skin gradually becoming colder and colder until it felt like my entire body was on fire, inside and out. I was burning in this coldness, or at least I thought I was, until the heat washed over me. This was not a pleasant heat, this was dunking your ice cold hands into a pot of boiling water times a thousand, no times ten thousand, no times a million, it was a whole new agony upon itself. If I thought the burning cold or the sudden heat was agony then there are no words to describe what happened next. As I began to regain feeling in my extremities a new fire set in, so much worse than anything any living thing should be asked to endure on this planet. Maybe this was death, maybe beforehand was only the first stages and perhaps this was my purgatory that I had to endure before I could be invited to join others at the pearly gates. How long would this last? How long could I last? This unending, unbearable agony it had to stop sometime, didn't it? Oh god, please let it stop. I knew if I could use my body I would be curled in the fetal position, releasing every single tear my body had to offer while trying to haul off my own skin. I wished the silly thought that I wanted to live never crossed my mind! Oh how I wished I could take it back. Just when I thought I could bear no more, it all stopped.

I didn't try to move but I could tell something was different. I had a new awareness of my surroundings, more vivid than I could ever recall having in life. I inhaled and my senses were invaded with the musty smell of damp earth and stale air, there was also something a bit woody and was that a faint hint of cotton? Where was I?I opened my eyes and I panicked, thinking I had given my eyesight for this increased sense of smell, but when I started to move I realized this was not the case. I felt the barrier only a few short inches in front of my face. It hit me like a ton of bricks, they had buried me and now here I was alive but trapped. I started to panic anew with this frightening information and started to claw at the barrier in front of hoping someone would hear my silent pleas. Though I expected my hands to be ineffective I was surprised to find that they were tearing the top of my coffin apart. Once I made my way through the wood I started to burrow up through the dirt, I kept digging and clawing until I felt a cool, refreshing breeze sweep across my exposed hand. Excitement ran through me as I pulled myself from my grave, I had made it out alive! I gathered my surroundings and noted that I was in the Forks cemetery not far from where gran was buried. I needed to get home and let Charlie know that I was ok! How could I have not thought of him before now? What a crummy daughter I'd been to him.

* * *

I stole quietly in my house, trying carefully not to wake Charlie. I was covered in wood splinters and mud, Charlie would probably panic and think I was a zombie or something if I didn't clean up a bit first. I made my way to the bathroom and flipped on the light. As I turned and looked into the mirror I knew this was the defining moment of my new life. My eyes shone crimson in my reflection against the snowy white of my skin and finally I understood what had happened. I was a vampire. But that was impossible wasn't it? I hadn't been bitten so how could this have happened? Even while my brain was still processing this it was considering another idea, something I had never bothered to think of before; where did the first vampire come from? It couldn't have come from evolution; vampires simply existed outside of that natural cycle. And as I stared at my new reflected I now understood what very few would ever come to understand.

The first vampire came from a broken heart, what a sinfully tragic fate.

I quickly concluded that I couldn't possibly continue to live with Charlie now, even the thought of his name now brought a sharp burning feeling to my throat. I had to get out of here, I was on my own now. And as I quietly ran from the house that had been my home I realized I was truly alone in this world and with that all the emotions that remained dormant from the time Edward left flared back to life. I wish this body could shed tears now.

AN – I'm not sure if I'm going to leave this as a one-shot or if I'm going to try my hand at expanding it into a full length story (something I've never done before). I guess it all depends on viewer response so definitely let me know what you think! Thanks for reading.


	2. Loneliness

I really needed to get a watch, or actually a calendar might be better. How long has it been since the night I fled from Charlie's house? It must have been a couple of months at least. What day did that even occur on? I've been on my own so long now that the civilized world could not have existed for all I knew. I didn't dare stray near any type of populated area after I left Charlie's, I didn't trust myself enough for that. No it's just been me, several acres of forest and a few unfortunate forest critters since I awoke that night. It's funny how before I met Edward being by myself never bothered me in the least but now the loneliness was slowly destroying my soul, well what was left of it anyways. Edward had already done a pretty good job of tearing it up and stomping on the tiny pieces. And yet no matter how much this was all Edward's fault, this pain, this situation, I couldn't help but miss him terribly. It sometimes felt as though my heart would jump back to life just so I could feel it ache and with every ache I hated myself a little bit more. How could I possibly still carry these feelings for him after all I had gone through because of him? My sole saving thought was that I had not sought him out in all these months even though it my first instinct after leaving Charlie's. Edward did not want me as a human and he certainly would not want me as a vampire. I knew I wouldn't be able to handle a second rejection even if my heart was already dead.

I really needed some company though, that much was certain. But who? I obviously could not return to Forks as everybody there thought me dead. I wouldn't go searching for the Cullen's and I most certainly did not want to seek the company of any "traditional" vampires I might wander across. Did any other vegetarians exist in this world aside from myself and the Cullen's? Probably not; but even as I thought this I felt a stirring in the back of my head as if I had forgotten something, which was very possible. My human memories all seemed fuzzy and incoherent as if I was trying to recall some drunken night the morning after. But still, there was something there nagging at me and the more I pondered on it the more important I thought it might be. Finally it hit me, hadn't Edward once mentioned a clan of vampires following the same vegetarian diet? I'm sure he had; but where had they lived? Even if I knew did I really want the risk of meeting them? They were basically an extension of Edward's family; it would be highly likely that I would come across the Cullen's again if I went looking for them. I suppose it was a moot point if I didn't even know where to find these other vampires.

Several days passed after my serious mental deliberation about my lack of company though it might as well have been one. The days meant nothing to me now, without sleep they just rolled into each other. I now understood why the Cullen's had worked so hard at integrating into human society; it must have helped to have something to count the time by. It must have given the days something more qualitative than the passing of the sun. My days and nights were currently filled with nothing but hunting, wandering and thinking; I probably would have died of boredom if it was possible. Speaking of hunting though, I could probably go for a bite. It had been several days since my last meal and I could already feel the uncomfortable burn in the back of my throat starting to build up. I stood deathly still and took a deep breath to find out what was on today's menu; bear? Not my preferred choice but it would have to do, it certainly beat deer. I had discovered in my new life that carnivores soothed the burn much better than herbivores. Herbivores were like drinking chicken broth when what you really wanted was the chicken, not bad but not nearly as satisfying.

I had a love-hate relationship with the next part. I readied myself to actually start the hunt, it was both thrilling and terrifying to hand myself over completely to my vampire self. I was the most swift and graceful at those times, nothing but pure instinct driving my body towards my prey and it was completely exhilarating. I felt like a drug addict at these times, soaring higher and higher but like all drug trips it comes to a harsh end. When I come back to my senses I'm always covered in dirt and blood and generally just looking like I had dug myself out of my grave yet again, not that I had to worry about my looks being completely alone as I was. I might look like Carrie after prom but at least I'm satisfied, the bear wasn't so bad after all. Now content after my hunt I am drawn back to my previous dilemma, what to do? I wish I had a sign! And as that last thought crossed my mind a solitary snowflake drifted downwards towards earth and landed unmelting on the tip of my nose. Alaska. That's where the Denali clan was. And still staring at that single snowflake sitting on my nose I thought of how lonely it must be because I could see no other snowflakes drifting towards earth, no this snowflake was just like me; cold and alone. In that moment I made my decision and turned north just as more snowflakes started to fall. That snowflake wouldn't be lonely anymore and neither would I. I just hoped the Denali clan would take me in.

AN – Ok first of all, sorry it's so short! Inspiration hit and I just wrote it all tonight. Second, I just want to warn you that this story will be getting updated VERY SLOWLY as I'm in university (and a million other things) and as such have very little time. Third, I hope you enjoyed and that if you did (or even if you didn't) you'll leave me a nice little review :)


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